No...it will never be goodbye. I know that someday I'll come back...whenever you need me, I'll come back.
But Tim and I...if Tim chooses to go, then we both will. I have a promise to myself. My sister is alive, somewhere out there, and I need to find her. I...ever since I saw my father again, I've told myself it was me. It was my fault that they're all gone. But if this is true...if she's alive, I have another chance. Maybe...maybe I can have a better life. Maybe I can escape from all this...maybe...
I don't want to leave my family behind. No, my heart stays with them. If anything happens, I will come back to protect them. Just, for now, I need to find out these things I've buried inside. I need to know myself before I try to figure out why this is all happening. Once I've figured things out...I can come back...But my sister...
I'm tired and I can't write much. I know how little I've said on this blog since last month. Things have worked slowly, recently...just taking care of Little Lullaby is what we've done. I've grown distant...the Voices have grown stronger. I think I know them all, now...Things I keep hidden from myself, I am becoming aware of. Maybe I've always known my sister was still out there somewhere...I'm still not sure. I still don't understand myself sometimes.
I've told them about this. But...I need to go...Someday I'll come back...I know I will.
It's not goodbye yet.
-Trinity
Friday, November 18, 2011
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
//second?\
That was my reaction. Gawd! Why should it be so important? I mean, he's home now, right? So why should something that happened years ago bug my now? Ugh...I wish he hadn't told me that. But at the same time, if I found out later he hadn't, I'd probably be more angry than I am now! Am I angry? GAH! You see now, Ike, what I mean by confused? I can't even understand my own feelings!
At first it was the kiss part that got me. But...then...they dated, didn't they? I asked where, and he said (Tim said), "This girl...from school. She came and visited me in the hospital, and I guess she kinda liked me." Of course...So early after. If I hadn't pushed him off that bridge, if I hadn't left him behind to fuck up my life, that stupid dumb girl wouldn't have showed up. Wouldn't have stolen Timmy.
But...why? I never...I never kissed anyone while he was gone. When my eye got ripped out, no one ever saw me getting visited by boys! No one ever saw me betraying Tim for someone else!
Ugh...If Tim reads this...What would you do, Ike? If you found out the one person you never stopped thinking about, never stopped loving, kissed another girl when you were gone? Replaced you? Is it fair...to say he replaced me?
At first it was the kiss part that got me. But...then...they dated, didn't they? I asked where, and he said (Tim said), "This girl...from school. She came and visited me in the hospital, and I guess she kinda liked me." Of course...So early after. If I hadn't pushed him off that bridge, if I hadn't left him behind to fuck up my life, that stupid dumb girl wouldn't have showed up. Wouldn't have stolen Timmy.
But...why? I never...I never kissed anyone while he was gone. When my eye got ripped out, no one ever saw me getting visited by boys! No one ever saw me betraying Tim for someone else!
Ugh...If Tim reads this...What would you do, Ike? If you found out the one person you never stopped thinking about, never stopped loving, kissed another girl when you were gone? Replaced you? Is it fair...to say he replaced me?
//Change\
Lots have changed since Ronald and I first got here, to the Haven. Back then, we didn't call it that. I had called it our "safehouse" or just the place that we sleep, I think. Some of my memories seem to be wiped, or maybe just blurred, since my head keeps getting stuffed with more and more - so much happens each day, I feel like I might suffocate under all the action. It seems like years since we last had a day where we could truly relax. Sometimes I remember those days when I would sit outside on the swings with Timmy, or just try to teach Lullaby (or Dollmaker? I don't know.) how to play Checkers. I summon up those images of the first days I lived here with my Ladies, and how ice creams were my first meal choice. I admit it now, that I was kind of stupid, and more than kind of sheltered. I couldn't handle a gun back then, nor did I ever fight back. I would always tell myself I would, but it never happened when those times came.
The day that Ron died was the day things started to shift for me. Days grew longer, and I grew distant. I mean, it mattered to me that Timothy was there, although part of me still believed it wasn't really true. It's a lot to take in, I guess, when the boy you almost killed four years ago comes back and actually forgives you. And on top of that, the only true family you've ever known gives his life for you, and you could do nothing but watch. I suppose in a way I feel like I've sort of made it up to him, but I know there's a lot more I still owe my Brother. Giving up his life to save mine wasn't the only thing he did for me. He was also my Father. I'm almost certain now that he really did remember those years, which are still unclear for me...those years with my Mom and Dad, and our other Siblings that I couldn't ever conjure from my mind. He knew what they looked like, our Parents, because I think I remember him saying something about it once...Or maybe that's just my mind filling in the gaps.
Before we arrived...I don't even think I clearly remember those days much either. It's Probably just that I don't want to remember those days. They were so distant...Although...I read a few of my first posts on this Blog, and the dates show that I wasn't too long ago at all. Just months, I think. I don't feel like checking back now, maybe I will later. But those moments, in that Cage, are about as faded as the days Tim and I spent as children. Of course, I still know a few, like the times we sat by the pond sharing Butterfingers, or when me and him first met...I think that was the day we met, anyway. I was so little. I went to school, though, and I was probably in Kindergarten. Timmy would've been in first grade, right? I was playing alone with a ball...it rolled across the pavement and hit a little boy's leg. He had dark auburn-colored hair and bright eyes, which were narrowed at me when he stooped over to pick of the ball. There were a few more boys, who seemed giant, towering over me - little me, who smiled at the beautiful boy, as if hoping he wanted to play too. But instead he started shouting. No, not shouting, just scolding. In a sharp, harsh voice. So I started to cry...I ran away again, and didn't go back for the ball. Instead, I stayed hidden around a corner near the fire escapes and cried until my entire face was red and my eyes were puffy.
Maybe the next day, maybe a week from then, I was playing outside again. Alone, again. Without a ball this time, just kicking a bit at the ground and pushing strands of blond hair from my face. Someone must have tapped my shoulder, I think. No one was there at first, or at least I thought, until I looked up and saw the boy again. He was holding the ball, but I wanted to run again and go cry by the fire escapes. But I also wanted the ball. The boy with the shaggy hair smiled and gave me the ball. Said something nice, maybe apologized. He had a Butterfingers in his hand, and he gave me a piece. I smiled, too.
It's hard to think that little boy with the shaggy auburn hair, and the bright eyes, and the red ball could be this boy - sleeping right next to me, with a Butterfingers bar on the little desk next to his head. That happened more than fours years ago, and yet it's the most vivid memory of us I have. I don't think of it often, but when I do, I get a weird feeling when I look at Tim. Is it because his hair is white now? Probably not, but I know it's something. Sometimes I think about it, maybe too much, trying to find the reasons why I can't seem to see that little boy in him now. But wait...I think I get it now. That little boy on the playground...who got angry when the ball bounced too far...How could he have searched four years? A simple piece of a Butterfinger or a shy apology couldn't have changed that - could it? I don't remember falling in love with that boy from the first grade. Maybe I was just too young to realize what love was. But if it is him...I'm certainly glad that ball slipped from my hands, and landed at his feet.
Lately, I've heard Jubilee singing, further down through the trees, where I don't bother to go. She hasn't come to the garden, or even come close enough for me to distinguish her petite figure. Just close enough so that I can hear the sound of her flute, or the strumming of a lute, or her childlike voice carried through the soft breeze that ruffles my hair - which has grown at least a few centimeters (maybe an inch) longer since Shady and Mystery cut it short. When Ron and I lived in Father's building, they never gave us hair cuts. Still, some of the Siblings' hair was short and choppy, but maybe that was just how long it had grown, or maybe, since they were a higher status than me, they got hair cuts. Sort of like a luxury, I guess.
I suppose I don't mind the MASC men so much now. They did bother me, though, when they treated my family the way they did, and how they tried to hurt Dollmaker's (Lullaby's?) child. They seemed so narrow-minded, but they don't really bother me. At least some of them welcomed me back (and by some I mean two), but mostly they are silent to me and Tim, mainly talking to one another with hushed voices, or just stand around...doing whatever it is they do. I don't mind it much anymore. I prefer to talk to my returned Prince, and guard him, because who knows what's coming next for us? For all I know, Candle could return tomorrow for revenge, but probably not, since that would be a stupid move. I mean, Kobold is dumb, but Candle doesn't seem too ignorant himself.
Usually after an attack, most people would post their own perspective on how the whole event happened, but Candle already posted about it, so I figured I might as well just link him, and save my writing for something else. Reflecting, I guess. On not only how things have changed, but also...What am I reflecting on? My feelings? What I think about this fucked up life we all live, here in this forest, with a bunch of men with guns and talking dogs and psychic women and children who grew up in cages? I tell myself in times like these, "How hard can it be to process your own thoughts?" And to tell you the truth, I don't even have an answer. When I say it like that, I truly start to believe it. How can it be so hard to understand myself when I'm me? But it just is. There's no other way to say it, or at least, no way I can think of how to make it make sense. To me, or anyway. To be truthful, I'm not organized with my thoughts, or even my own feelings. I don't understand myself. I don't understand why I sometimes used to spend what seemed like forever out back by Ron's burial place, or why I killed my family, or why I'm so sensitive to myself and others. I make friends so often, and sometimes I think it's because I trust people too easily. I mean, so far, it hasn't gotten me into trouble, but what about Ronald? What about the trust my Ladies put in him, and after all this, he tried to kill them? What if that happens to me?
Sometimes I just can't think properly without crying, like now. I'm glad Timmy isn't awake, or he'd be worried. He's kind of like me in that way. He worries too often, although I know I would be too if I saw him crying, or one of my Ladies or Lords were crying. But I know they wouldn't - not in front of me. They want to be strong for me. For us. The children. When I'm older, I'll be strong for them. For my niece, Lullaby, because she'll be child then, too, won't she? I'll be the grownup, who won't cry because I've got to be tough for her, for the little girl who looks up to me. I'll be her Lady, and I'll help protect her, alongside her Mommy and Daddy and the rest of her Aunts and Uncles. And if I make it far enough...If I have my own children, I know my family here at the Haven would do the same. Because that's what best friends do, right?
And one more thing. I had my first kiss today.
The day that Ron died was the day things started to shift for me. Days grew longer, and I grew distant. I mean, it mattered to me that Timothy was there, although part of me still believed it wasn't really true. It's a lot to take in, I guess, when the boy you almost killed four years ago comes back and actually forgives you. And on top of that, the only true family you've ever known gives his life for you, and you could do nothing but watch. I suppose in a way I feel like I've sort of made it up to him, but I know there's a lot more I still owe my Brother. Giving up his life to save mine wasn't the only thing he did for me. He was also my Father. I'm almost certain now that he really did remember those years, which are still unclear for me...those years with my Mom and Dad, and our other Siblings that I couldn't ever conjure from my mind. He knew what they looked like, our Parents, because I think I remember him saying something about it once...Or maybe that's just my mind filling in the gaps.
Before we arrived...I don't even think I clearly remember those days much either. It's Probably just that I don't want to remember those days. They were so distant...Although...I read a few of my first posts on this Blog, and the dates show that I wasn't too long ago at all. Just months, I think. I don't feel like checking back now, maybe I will later. But those moments, in that Cage, are about as faded as the days Tim and I spent as children. Of course, I still know a few, like the times we sat by the pond sharing Butterfingers, or when me and him first met...I think that was the day we met, anyway. I was so little. I went to school, though, and I was probably in Kindergarten. Timmy would've been in first grade, right? I was playing alone with a ball...it rolled across the pavement and hit a little boy's leg. He had dark auburn-colored hair and bright eyes, which were narrowed at me when he stooped over to pick of the ball. There were a few more boys, who seemed giant, towering over me - little me, who smiled at the beautiful boy, as if hoping he wanted to play too. But instead he started shouting. No, not shouting, just scolding. In a sharp, harsh voice. So I started to cry...I ran away again, and didn't go back for the ball. Instead, I stayed hidden around a corner near the fire escapes and cried until my entire face was red and my eyes were puffy.
Maybe the next day, maybe a week from then, I was playing outside again. Alone, again. Without a ball this time, just kicking a bit at the ground and pushing strands of blond hair from my face. Someone must have tapped my shoulder, I think. No one was there at first, or at least I thought, until I looked up and saw the boy again. He was holding the ball, but I wanted to run again and go cry by the fire escapes. But I also wanted the ball. The boy with the shaggy hair smiled and gave me the ball. Said something nice, maybe apologized. He had a Butterfingers in his hand, and he gave me a piece. I smiled, too.
It's hard to think that little boy with the shaggy auburn hair, and the bright eyes, and the red ball could be this boy - sleeping right next to me, with a Butterfingers bar on the little desk next to his head. That happened more than fours years ago, and yet it's the most vivid memory of us I have. I don't think of it often, but when I do, I get a weird feeling when I look at Tim. Is it because his hair is white now? Probably not, but I know it's something. Sometimes I think about it, maybe too much, trying to find the reasons why I can't seem to see that little boy in him now. But wait...I think I get it now. That little boy on the playground...who got angry when the ball bounced too far...How could he have searched four years? A simple piece of a Butterfinger or a shy apology couldn't have changed that - could it? I don't remember falling in love with that boy from the first grade. Maybe I was just too young to realize what love was. But if it is him...I'm certainly glad that ball slipped from my hands, and landed at his feet.
Lately, I've heard Jubilee singing, further down through the trees, where I don't bother to go. She hasn't come to the garden, or even come close enough for me to distinguish her petite figure. Just close enough so that I can hear the sound of her flute, or the strumming of a lute, or her childlike voice carried through the soft breeze that ruffles my hair - which has grown at least a few centimeters (maybe an inch) longer since Shady and Mystery cut it short. When Ron and I lived in Father's building, they never gave us hair cuts. Still, some of the Siblings' hair was short and choppy, but maybe that was just how long it had grown, or maybe, since they were a higher status than me, they got hair cuts. Sort of like a luxury, I guess.
I suppose I don't mind the MASC men so much now. They did bother me, though, when they treated my family the way they did, and how they tried to hurt Dollmaker's (Lullaby's?) child. They seemed so narrow-minded, but they don't really bother me. At least some of them welcomed me back (and by some I mean two), but mostly they are silent to me and Tim, mainly talking to one another with hushed voices, or just stand around...doing whatever it is they do. I don't mind it much anymore. I prefer to talk to my returned Prince, and guard him, because who knows what's coming next for us? For all I know, Candle could return tomorrow for revenge, but probably not, since that would be a stupid move. I mean, Kobold is dumb, but Candle doesn't seem too ignorant himself.
Usually after an attack, most people would post their own perspective on how the whole event happened, but Candle already posted about it, so I figured I might as well just link him, and save my writing for something else. Reflecting, I guess. On not only how things have changed, but also...What am I reflecting on? My feelings? What I think about this fucked up life we all live, here in this forest, with a bunch of men with guns and talking dogs and psychic women and children who grew up in cages? I tell myself in times like these, "How hard can it be to process your own thoughts?" And to tell you the truth, I don't even have an answer. When I say it like that, I truly start to believe it. How can it be so hard to understand myself when I'm me? But it just is. There's no other way to say it, or at least, no way I can think of how to make it make sense. To me, or anyway. To be truthful, I'm not organized with my thoughts, or even my own feelings. I don't understand myself. I don't understand why I sometimes used to spend what seemed like forever out back by Ron's burial place, or why I killed my family, or why I'm so sensitive to myself and others. I make friends so often, and sometimes I think it's because I trust people too easily. I mean, so far, it hasn't gotten me into trouble, but what about Ronald? What about the trust my Ladies put in him, and after all this, he tried to kill them? What if that happens to me?
Sometimes I just can't think properly without crying, like now. I'm glad Timmy isn't awake, or he'd be worried. He's kind of like me in that way. He worries too often, although I know I would be too if I saw him crying, or one of my Ladies or Lords were crying. But I know they wouldn't - not in front of me. They want to be strong for me. For us. The children. When I'm older, I'll be strong for them. For my niece, Lullaby, because she'll be child then, too, won't she? I'll be the grownup, who won't cry because I've got to be tough for her, for the little girl who looks up to me. I'll be her Lady, and I'll help protect her, alongside her Mommy and Daddy and the rest of her Aunts and Uncles. And if I make it far enough...If I have my own children, I know my family here at the Haven would do the same. Because that's what best friends do, right?
And one more thing. I had my first kiss today.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
//Update - Sir Thighpiece\
I apologize for my lack of posts. We've been a bit busy lately. Yes - we. I've made a...friend? I'm not really sure what to call him. And her. But never mind that...I'll explain it all later.
I want to start where I left off - right after the fight with Kobold. Pain gripped every inch of my body. I even thought a few bones had been broken from being flung against trees by that giant man-beast. He sort of reminds me of a dog...but not the cute kind. I mean more like those big bulky ones that won't stop barking and lunging at you. The ones that you back away from, even if they're behind a fence.
Anyway...After that...I just started to cry. I could hear Threnody saying something behind me, but her voice was soon replaced by another. Less low, groggy-sounding. This one was new - sharp like a prick of a thorn, sort of scraggy like an old woman's.
"Well, well. I guess it's my turn now, huh?"
At first it sounded like it was to my right...but as I listened carefully, I noticed that the sound was shifting in all different directions. Almost like Jubilee's did when she was bouncing around the garden, but not quite the same. My eye (eyes?) was blurry with tears, so as I looked about in search of this new voice, all I could really see was green blended with brown - blue blended with white, and bits of red here and there.
"My name is Sybil. Perhaps one of the others mentioned me?"
Yes. They certainly did. And now I could tell she wasn't like Jubilee, because as I wiped my eye, and finally caught sight of the raggedy ginger-headed woman, swinging her emaciated legs up in one of the trees, I felt an overwhelming sense of dread. I knew she wasn't real, and so I started to doubt reality.
"They mentioned you, yes. So what are you, then?"
"What do you think, Carol?"
"You are me, I'm not stupid."
Sybil laughed like a maniac, then hopped down to circle me, as if examining me.
"I don't have much to work with here, do I? It's a shame...I was hoping you'd know less. The more to corrupt, hmm?"
"Insanity, I'm guessing. Just looking at you screams it at me. No wonder I'm feeling a bit crazed."
"Ohh! Feeling the crazies, Thatcher?! That's a good sign!"
"I know how to work with you. I've felt you before, when I was stupid. I'm not now, you know. I can work with your shit, and you can't do anything about it. You can't touch me, hurt me. Only if I let you."
After that, Sybil disappeared. I gotta say, I'm still quite proud of myself for that. I know I never could have done that before all this. I was actually expecting some Voice of Pride to show up, but thankfully, none did.
The feeling of accomplishment wore off, and again returned the frustration. I mean, I know I should've taken all the stress like a big girl and just pushed on...But no. I stayed and shot at some trees until I ran out of ammo and instead starting chucking rocks at the old shack.
Apparently I passed out after that. I can't really remember much after the rage fit, just waking up in soiled clothing and knotty hair. Figuring I should clean myself and at least eat something, I made myself get up and walk all the way back to the motel. People gave me some pretty weird looks on the street. I guess they just weren't accustomed to seeing little girls stumbling around like they're drunk, and looking like they've just been mugged.
When I got there, I expected the manager of the place to put up a better fight when I asked for a room. I don't know if it was just me, but would you really not question a twelve-year-old girl trying to rent her own room? Without an adult? Shouldn't there be a rule for that? But I guess it was good for me, though.
Took a shower, didn't bother washing my ripped, stained clothes, so I just threw them out, then flopped over on the bed and passed out.
"Good Morning!"
I woke up. And...oh my god. There. In my room. A giant Saint Bernard, TALKING. And on its back...is that FATHER?! In a casual get-up?! Oh, no, it's just some anorexic tongueless guy. This is definitely a dream.
Sorry, Trina, It's not.
I passed out again.
His name is Sir Thighpiece. I found that out when I woke up again. A tongueless emaciated man riding a giant talking dog is a lot to take in, right? Wouldn't you have fainted, too?
I decided to listen to what they had to say. The dog told me she merely "translated" for Thighpiece, since he couldn't speak. They were here to help.
"Okay. That's great, but can you explain to me why the hell you can speak? You're an animal, no offense..."
Apparently, neither of them know. Their memories were wiped. And what does that mean? No answers. But at least they were here to help!
The dog (I've decided on Betty) told me they were sure they knew where Candle had taken Timmy. Good news, I suppose. So we drove there, confirmed it, and decided on waiting until tomorrow to come get him.
So...Sorry for the blunt post. We've been working on a plan - Sir Thighpiece, Betty, and I. But I promise, when we get Timothy, there will be a story to tell. And an ice creams party to be had.
I want to start where I left off - right after the fight with Kobold. Pain gripped every inch of my body. I even thought a few bones had been broken from being flung against trees by that giant man-beast. He sort of reminds me of a dog...but not the cute kind. I mean more like those big bulky ones that won't stop barking and lunging at you. The ones that you back away from, even if they're behind a fence.
Anyway...After that...I just started to cry. I could hear Threnody saying something behind me, but her voice was soon replaced by another. Less low, groggy-sounding. This one was new - sharp like a prick of a thorn, sort of scraggy like an old woman's.
"Well, well. I guess it's my turn now, huh?"
At first it sounded like it was to my right...but as I listened carefully, I noticed that the sound was shifting in all different directions. Almost like Jubilee's did when she was bouncing around the garden, but not quite the same. My eye (eyes?) was blurry with tears, so as I looked about in search of this new voice, all I could really see was green blended with brown - blue blended with white, and bits of red here and there.
"My name is Sybil. Perhaps one of the others mentioned me?"
Yes. They certainly did. And now I could tell she wasn't like Jubilee, because as I wiped my eye, and finally caught sight of the raggedy ginger-headed woman, swinging her emaciated legs up in one of the trees, I felt an overwhelming sense of dread. I knew she wasn't real, and so I started to doubt reality.
"They mentioned you, yes. So what are you, then?"
"What do you think, Carol?"
"You are me, I'm not stupid."
Sybil laughed like a maniac, then hopped down to circle me, as if examining me.
"I don't have much to work with here, do I? It's a shame...I was hoping you'd know less. The more to corrupt, hmm?"
"Insanity, I'm guessing. Just looking at you screams it at me. No wonder I'm feeling a bit crazed."
"Ohh! Feeling the crazies, Thatcher?! That's a good sign!"
"I know how to work with you. I've felt you before, when I was stupid. I'm not now, you know. I can work with your shit, and you can't do anything about it. You can't touch me, hurt me. Only if I let you."
After that, Sybil disappeared. I gotta say, I'm still quite proud of myself for that. I know I never could have done that before all this. I was actually expecting some Voice of Pride to show up, but thankfully, none did.
The feeling of accomplishment wore off, and again returned the frustration. I mean, I know I should've taken all the stress like a big girl and just pushed on...But no. I stayed and shot at some trees until I ran out of ammo and instead starting chucking rocks at the old shack.
Apparently I passed out after that. I can't really remember much after the rage fit, just waking up in soiled clothing and knotty hair. Figuring I should clean myself and at least eat something, I made myself get up and walk all the way back to the motel. People gave me some pretty weird looks on the street. I guess they just weren't accustomed to seeing little girls stumbling around like they're drunk, and looking like they've just been mugged.
When I got there, I expected the manager of the place to put up a better fight when I asked for a room. I don't know if it was just me, but would you really not question a twelve-year-old girl trying to rent her own room? Without an adult? Shouldn't there be a rule for that? But I guess it was good for me, though.
Took a shower, didn't bother washing my ripped, stained clothes, so I just threw them out, then flopped over on the bed and passed out.
"Good Morning!"
I woke up. And...oh my god. There. In my room. A giant Saint Bernard, TALKING. And on its back...is that FATHER?! In a casual get-up?! Oh, no, it's just some anorexic tongueless guy. This is definitely a dream.
Sorry, Trina, It's not.
I passed out again.
His name is Sir Thighpiece. I found that out when I woke up again. A tongueless emaciated man riding a giant talking dog is a lot to take in, right? Wouldn't you have fainted, too?
I decided to listen to what they had to say. The dog told me she merely "translated" for Thighpiece, since he couldn't speak. They were here to help.
"Okay. That's great, but can you explain to me why the hell you can speak? You're an animal, no offense..."
Apparently, neither of them know. Their memories were wiped. And what does that mean? No answers. But at least they were here to help!
The dog (I've decided on Betty) told me they were sure they knew where Candle had taken Timmy. Good news, I suppose. So we drove there, confirmed it, and decided on waiting until tomorrow to come get him.
So...Sorry for the blunt post. We've been working on a plan - Sir Thighpiece, Betty, and I. But I promise, when we get Timothy, there will be a story to tell. And an ice creams party to be had.
Monday, September 26, 2011
//fucked up\
That's what I did. I fucked up, big time.
There he was, I had him right there the whole entire time, and I let them get away - again, with Timothy. God, I don't know why I messed up like this. I shouldn't have messed up so badly!
I tracked them down to the motel. Apparently, they already checked out...Tim wasn't going to be there anyway, but I figured maybe I'd find some clue as to where this "safehouse" was going to be found. And I did. I couldn't get into their room...The guy at the desk kept eyeing me really weirdly, probably wondering what a little girl was doing roaming around the lobby, looking under desks and coaches, right up until the point where I was asked to leave. Damn, I thought that was going to be it.
But on my way out a saw a crunched up piece of paper, just around the corner of the building. It was written for a Kobolt - the man working with Candle. Or at least I assumed, seeming as it pretty much implied that with his name written at the top, like a homework paper or something (I've learned a lot; I'm not sheltered anymore.)It said something like, "Take this many steps to the right, this many to the east-" etc, etc, etc. I can't really look back to tell you the exact words, as I'd thrown it away as soon as I'd reached the broken down shack-like structure halfway in the middle of the woods. God, this guy must be huge, because I literally had to take three times the amount of steps this way and that to finally reach the place.
But when I saw it...I somehow just got this feeling I was right. I got out my gun, and slowly tiptoed inside, anticipation sending shutters through me until I was practically having convulsions of nervousness. No one was inside, and it was small, so I spent what seemed like forever searching the place for something - anything! And then I found it. A small trap door right underneath my foot. But I couldn't pry it open. Luckily there was a whole forest behind me, where I found one gigantic tree limb and pulled open the tiny wooden door, which led to a stairwell, and down to the figure of a man...and Tim.
I couldn't help it! I called down to him, distracting who I thought to be Kobolt, and pretty much lured him up onto the first floor of the safehouse. God...Timothy's hair is white! White! I didn't get it.
"What did you do to him?!" I screamed at the man, holding out the gun like I owned the place. "Why does he look old?!"
"An experiment or something," He replied. He probably knew it was me, so I started shooting at him.
He charged right back, full force, like some angry bull on one of those videos Ron showed me before. So strong, huge, compared to a tiny pre-teen like me. I got him in the arm once, the force of each shot making me want to topple over like a bowling pin. And when he knocked into me, just like a giant cannon, I was pushed up into a tree. My eyes strung - or rather, my eye - and the rest of me just plain hurt like hell.
And that's when he came. Candle. He knew he'd fucked up, just like me, leaving the man-bull with Timothy alone. He probably didn't find me to be such a huge threat to his idiotic "plan" when they started out. I keep thinking, "What do they want with him anyway?" But I still don't have an answer. And I didn't think right then was a good time to ask. So I kept shooting.
Then...I don't even know what the hell happened. They got away somehow. The throbbing in my...everything, distracted me. I have no idea how I let them get away with him. I didn't even get to say goodbye, no, nothing to him at all.
So Sybil came to visit. No wonder. I'm pretty fucking sure I've gone completely batshit crazy on this epic adventure anyway. But I don't really mind. I've changed a lot, haven't I? Looking back at my older posts...how small and unknown I was back then. I thought things were...so damn happy all the time. Well, they're not. And if I had the chance to go back in time and teach myself these things, I would.
Oh Ron. God, Ron, why can't you be here now?!
There he was, I had him right there the whole entire time, and I let them get away - again, with Timothy. God, I don't know why I messed up like this. I shouldn't have messed up so badly!
I tracked them down to the motel. Apparently, they already checked out...Tim wasn't going to be there anyway, but I figured maybe I'd find some clue as to where this "safehouse" was going to be found. And I did. I couldn't get into their room...The guy at the desk kept eyeing me really weirdly, probably wondering what a little girl was doing roaming around the lobby, looking under desks and coaches, right up until the point where I was asked to leave. Damn, I thought that was going to be it.
But on my way out a saw a crunched up piece of paper, just around the corner of the building. It was written for a Kobolt - the man working with Candle. Or at least I assumed, seeming as it pretty much implied that with his name written at the top, like a homework paper or something (I've learned a lot; I'm not sheltered anymore.)It said something like, "Take this many steps to the right, this many to the east-" etc, etc, etc. I can't really look back to tell you the exact words, as I'd thrown it away as soon as I'd reached the broken down shack-like structure halfway in the middle of the woods. God, this guy must be huge, because I literally had to take three times the amount of steps this way and that to finally reach the place.
But when I saw it...I somehow just got this feeling I was right. I got out my gun, and slowly tiptoed inside, anticipation sending shutters through me until I was practically having convulsions of nervousness. No one was inside, and it was small, so I spent what seemed like forever searching the place for something - anything! And then I found it. A small trap door right underneath my foot. But I couldn't pry it open. Luckily there was a whole forest behind me, where I found one gigantic tree limb and pulled open the tiny wooden door, which led to a stairwell, and down to the figure of a man...and Tim.
I couldn't help it! I called down to him, distracting who I thought to be Kobolt, and pretty much lured him up onto the first floor of the safehouse. God...Timothy's hair is white! White! I didn't get it.
"What did you do to him?!" I screamed at the man, holding out the gun like I owned the place. "Why does he look old?!"
"An experiment or something," He replied. He probably knew it was me, so I started shooting at him.
He charged right back, full force, like some angry bull on one of those videos Ron showed me before. So strong, huge, compared to a tiny pre-teen like me. I got him in the arm once, the force of each shot making me want to topple over like a bowling pin. And when he knocked into me, just like a giant cannon, I was pushed up into a tree. My eyes strung - or rather, my eye - and the rest of me just plain hurt like hell.
And that's when he came. Candle. He knew he'd fucked up, just like me, leaving the man-bull with Timothy alone. He probably didn't find me to be such a huge threat to his idiotic "plan" when they started out. I keep thinking, "What do they want with him anyway?" But I still don't have an answer. And I didn't think right then was a good time to ask. So I kept shooting.
Then...I don't even know what the hell happened. They got away somehow. The throbbing in my...everything, distracted me. I have no idea how I let them get away with him. I didn't even get to say goodbye, no, nothing to him at all.
So Sybil came to visit. No wonder. I'm pretty fucking sure I've gone completely batshit crazy on this epic adventure anyway. But I don't really mind. I've changed a lot, haven't I? Looking back at my older posts...how small and unknown I was back then. I thought things were...so damn happy all the time. Well, they're not. And if I had the chance to go back in time and teach myself these things, I would.
Oh Ron. God, Ron, why can't you be here now?!
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
//bye bye Haven\
I found him. No...no, I didn't find him. Not yet, at least. But I will, soon enough. I've been searching for him, for Timothy, and at last! I found it...A blog, belonging to someone named Candle...There it is, clear as day. It even mentions his name...
This is a message to you - Lucas, Shady, Mystery, Lullaby, Dia...all my Ladies, all my Siblings. I've left the Haven, but not forever. Well, maybe, if that's how long it takes to get Timmy back. Listen...you probably don't find my decisions very practical. Neither do I right. Not really. But Timothy spent four year, four whole years just trying to find me. Carol Thatcher. The one who tried to kill him. Well now it's time for me to find him. Because, like I always say, I hate feelings helpless.
Lullaby, you're probably wondering where your $30 went. Sorry, but I had to...um, borrow it, for a while. I promise I will pay you back once I return. Actually, though, at first I was thinking of only taking $20. You know, as a joke...But I figured that really wouldn't help much.
I hadn't told any of you this yet, but I've been hiding a gun in my room. It used to be Ron's. He taught me how to use it once, and told me only to take it when I really need it. I'm going to assume this counts.
So where am I going? Remember when I used to work for the Siblings, for Father? They called me a Coder; I hacked, downloaded information. I was pretty good at it. So it didn't take much time to track down what computer Candle's posts came from. Some motel, not far from here. That's my first destination. I'll look around the place - hell, I might even break into their room and rummage around in there for a while. I just hope I'll find something that might tell me where they're keeping Timmy.
My Ladies...expect phone calls, blog posts and messages to let you know I'm okay. Please don't let those MASC men come after me. I have to do this. I love Tim. More than anything. Dia...he is my Prince. The one who forgave me, came for me. Now, it's my turn to come for him.
This is a message to you - Lucas, Shady, Mystery, Lullaby, Dia...all my Ladies, all my Siblings. I've left the Haven, but not forever. Well, maybe, if that's how long it takes to get Timmy back. Listen...you probably don't find my decisions very practical. Neither do I right. Not really. But Timothy spent four year, four whole years just trying to find me. Carol Thatcher. The one who tried to kill him. Well now it's time for me to find him. Because, like I always say, I hate feelings helpless.
Lullaby, you're probably wondering where your $30 went. Sorry, but I had to...um, borrow it, for a while. I promise I will pay you back once I return. Actually, though, at first I was thinking of only taking $20. You know, as a joke...But I figured that really wouldn't help much.
I hadn't told any of you this yet, but I've been hiding a gun in my room. It used to be Ron's. He taught me how to use it once, and told me only to take it when I really need it. I'm going to assume this counts.
So where am I going? Remember when I used to work for the Siblings, for Father? They called me a Coder; I hacked, downloaded information. I was pretty good at it. So it didn't take much time to track down what computer Candle's posts came from. Some motel, not far from here. That's my first destination. I'll look around the place - hell, I might even break into their room and rummage around in there for a while. I just hope I'll find something that might tell me where they're keeping Timmy.
My Ladies...expect phone calls, blog posts and messages to let you know I'm okay. Please don't let those MASC men come after me. I have to do this. I love Tim. More than anything. Dia...he is my Prince. The one who forgave me, came for me. Now, it's my turn to come for him.
I love you all.
Wish me luck.
-Trina
Sunday, September 18, 2011
//Father\
The thing I saw was vivid. Part of me still thinks it was a hallucination, yet part of me believes it was real. But how could it be? Could I possibly be what he told me? Or am I just misunderstanding his messages?
Even if I was what I am thinking I may be…How would that even change my life? I have no skills at all outside of technology, and the little I know about the world. If only Victor could show me what he did Shady…She was inspired, I think…If only I had the knowledge. I could save my Ladies, Timothy, Lucas, and all the others. Perhaps I could even bring Ronald back. Who knows what I would be capable of?
But within that short vision…Oh, how real it felt! All the wounds and pain and confusion. The regret and hatred. And love. All the love…That I was able to finally meet my family. See how I came to be who I am…who I was before all of this. All the memories that I saw before me…every lost piece of time I lacked.
I have no idea where they all went. I looked for Timothy and he was not there…I stumbled into the forest and limped on. My left eye was gone now, its empty socket covered only by a light piece of cloth I ripped from my skirt and tied around my head. I could tell the blood was seeping through, as everything got hazy and I went limp against a tree.
Everything was like static, shifting and buzzing. I could only see out of my right eye now.
“Trinity.”
I heard a man’s voice, and had to turn my head to see his figure standing there, only several feet away. He was blurry, just like everything else I could see on my right side, but I could tell he had hair like mine - the color of dead grass and hay.
“Who are you?”
“You don’t recognize me?”
“N-no…Who are you?!”
He looked almost…disappointed. As far as I could tell.
“I said who are you!”
“You are Carol Thatcher, twelve years old, nicknamed Trinity by your older brother. A loved little girl whose pain is hidden beneath a smile and pretty face.”
“I did not ask who I am.”
“But you should.”
“W-what?”
“You do not even know who you are.”
“I know who I am!”
“No you don’t.”
I was getting angry, and weaker. I slid down the trunk of the tree and onto the wet ground. I closed my eyes.
“You don’t know who you are, Carol, and that is why I’m telling you.”
“Hell! Why are you here?!”
“I came to aid you.”
“Aid me how?”
“Well, you should know.”
He gestured to my eye and I turned my head a bit, so that I could still see him from the corner of my eye.
“Soon you will faint from blood loss, and if you stay out here alone, eventually die.”
“So why do you care? You don’t seem to be helping much.”
He chuckled, then stepped forward and kneeled near me. He took something from his pocket after taking off the ragged cloth, then tied the new ribbon-like material around my head, covering the gap where my left eye should have been. Then he sat down and stared at me.
“That has a symbol on it. The symbol for wisdom.”
“Who…are…you?”
He sighed, and stood back up. I couldn’t see him.
“I am someone you knew…Someone who loved you very much.”
“…What?”
“I raised you when you were an infant.”
“Are you saying that you are my Father?”
“That’s exactly what I’m saying, Carol. Both your mother and I raised you. We cared so much about you.”
“How?! What? I…If you are my Father than why can’t I remember you?”
“I’m assuming the ones you call ‘Siblings’ erased all your memory of us once they took you.”
That hit me hard. Is that why I can’t remember Ronald at all from before I ended up in the Cage? I know I could always remember Timothy…but why not my family?
“Carol,” He kneeled down again so I could see his face. His eyes…they were just like Ron’s. Deep green like the tops of trees. My Father looked just like Ronald. I tried not to, but when I began to cry, he reached out and touched my face.
“My baby girl…Oh, I love you so much, Carrie.”
“D…Dad…”
“What is it, Carol?”
“Where is my Mother?”
He frowned and looked away…and suddenly I knew what was going on. Looking into Ronald’s eyes I saw everything unfold in front of me. Every single memory I ever lost…Every birthday, Christmas, family movie night, and every. Damn. “I love you”. It all happened.
When I was seven Daddy took me to the amusement park and got cotton candy for Ron and I to share. And all the others, too…Dan, Becca, Megan. All three of them. How could I ever forget?!
“Where are they?!”
Tears streamed down my face now. I couldn’t even tell if my left eye-hole was crying or not.
“Carrie…”
“Where. Are. They?!”
“You killed them.”
NO. NO! NONONONO! HOW?! HOWHOWHOW??? Why…Why??!! No…no…no no no! I remembered it then! Not only Tim! Dan, Becca, Megan too! How? Could? I? I’m a monster! I’m a fucking monster! My Brothers and my Sisters…I can’t believe it…They were asleep. I had run away, into the forest. I…stabbed…every one of them…except…Ronald. I couldn’t. I just… couldn't.
Then they took Mommy…OH GOD. OH GOD NO. NO. NO! All her…all the…Mommy…
“Carol.”
I’m still here…
“I have to tell you something.”
“T-t-t-tell…tell…”
“Carol, listen! You have to promise not to break. This is very important.”
“Break…break?”
“If you let yourself cave in, this will all end and you’ll loose everything you’ve known.”
“What…”
“Carrie, listen to me! What you just saw would be lost to. But everything else…everything would be gone forever. No matter how much you want to forget what you did, you can’t lose yourself!”
“Lose…myself…”
I was shaking. So. Fucking. Hard. I couldn’t stop. But he kept coming closer…a dark pit closed behind him and I watched him get shredded inside. Ugh…No…Stop it, Daddy…Stop it…
“Carrie, can you see what’s happening?”
He was…alive? How…His voice…
“Carol…I need you to calm down and focus. Close you eyes and relax. Hold my hand.”
His hand was there. I let my mind empty.
“Remember what I said. Don’t let yourself break.”
“O-okay…Daddy…”
Everything suddenly shifted out of place. Nothing made sense. But…Megan was there. And Mommy. They were on the swings…What was going on? Then it exploded. Everything. I was a computer, downloading every piece of data I lacked. I was being hacked into, a virus spreading through my and corrupting my memory.
“Don’t let go, Carol!”
It hurt so badly! I wanted to open my eye, but the pressure was too strong, pushing against my whole body like a huge weight.
Then it ended.
Everything was white.
All around me, the forest started to reload again…I was back by the tree trunk. Though…Daddy wasn’t there anymore.
“Daddy?”
“Dad?”
“Carol…”
It was only a whisper now…almost sounding like it echoed merely within my own mind.
“Daddy?!”
“Don’t break, Carrie…”
“Where are you?”
“The worst is yet to come…”
“DADDY!”
The silence ate at me, and I started to cry again.
“Wait…”
“D…Da-”
“Trinity.”
“Yes…”
“You are not human.”
He’s right. I’m a monster.
Even if I was what I am thinking I may be…How would that even change my life? I have no skills at all outside of technology, and the little I know about the world. If only Victor could show me what he did Shady…She was inspired, I think…If only I had the knowledge. I could save my Ladies, Timothy, Lucas, and all the others. Perhaps I could even bring Ronald back. Who knows what I would be capable of?
But within that short vision…Oh, how real it felt! All the wounds and pain and confusion. The regret and hatred. And love. All the love…That I was able to finally meet my family. See how I came to be who I am…who I was before all of this. All the memories that I saw before me…every lost piece of time I lacked.
I have no idea where they all went. I looked for Timothy and he was not there…I stumbled into the forest and limped on. My left eye was gone now, its empty socket covered only by a light piece of cloth I ripped from my skirt and tied around my head. I could tell the blood was seeping through, as everything got hazy and I went limp against a tree.
Everything was like static, shifting and buzzing. I could only see out of my right eye now.
“Trinity.”
I heard a man’s voice, and had to turn my head to see his figure standing there, only several feet away. He was blurry, just like everything else I could see on my right side, but I could tell he had hair like mine - the color of dead grass and hay.
“Who are you?”
“You don’t recognize me?”
“N-no…Who are you?!”
He looked almost…disappointed. As far as I could tell.
“I said who are you!”
“You are Carol Thatcher, twelve years old, nicknamed Trinity by your older brother. A loved little girl whose pain is hidden beneath a smile and pretty face.”
“I did not ask who I am.”
“But you should.”
“W-what?”
“You do not even know who you are.”
“I know who I am!”
“No you don’t.”
I was getting angry, and weaker. I slid down the trunk of the tree and onto the wet ground. I closed my eyes.
“You don’t know who you are, Carol, and that is why I’m telling you.”
“Hell! Why are you here?!”
“I came to aid you.”
“Aid me how?”
“Well, you should know.”
He gestured to my eye and I turned my head a bit, so that I could still see him from the corner of my eye.
“Soon you will faint from blood loss, and if you stay out here alone, eventually die.”
“So why do you care? You don’t seem to be helping much.”
He chuckled, then stepped forward and kneeled near me. He took something from his pocket after taking off the ragged cloth, then tied the new ribbon-like material around my head, covering the gap where my left eye should have been. Then he sat down and stared at me.
“That has a symbol on it. The symbol for wisdom.”
“Who…are…you?”
He sighed, and stood back up. I couldn’t see him.
“I am someone you knew…Someone who loved you very much.”
“…What?”
“I raised you when you were an infant.”
“Are you saying that you are my Father?”
“That’s exactly what I’m saying, Carol. Both your mother and I raised you. We cared so much about you.”
“How?! What? I…If you are my Father than why can’t I remember you?”
“I’m assuming the ones you call ‘Siblings’ erased all your memory of us once they took you.”
That hit me hard. Is that why I can’t remember Ronald at all from before I ended up in the Cage? I know I could always remember Timothy…but why not my family?
“Carol,” He kneeled down again so I could see his face. His eyes…they were just like Ron’s. Deep green like the tops of trees. My Father looked just like Ronald. I tried not to, but when I began to cry, he reached out and touched my face.
“My baby girl…Oh, I love you so much, Carrie.”
“D…Dad…”
“What is it, Carol?”
“Where is my Mother?”
He frowned and looked away…and suddenly I knew what was going on. Looking into Ronald’s eyes I saw everything unfold in front of me. Every single memory I ever lost…Every birthday, Christmas, family movie night, and every. Damn. “I love you”. It all happened.
When I was seven Daddy took me to the amusement park and got cotton candy for Ron and I to share. And all the others, too…Dan, Becca, Megan. All three of them. How could I ever forget?!
“Where are they?!”
Tears streamed down my face now. I couldn’t even tell if my left eye-hole was crying or not.
“Carrie…”
“Where. Are. They?!”
“You killed them.”
NO. NO! NONONONO! HOW?! HOWHOWHOW??? Why…Why??!! No…no…no no no! I remembered it then! Not only Tim! Dan, Becca, Megan too! How? Could? I? I’m a monster! I’m a fucking monster! My Brothers and my Sisters…I can’t believe it…They were asleep. I had run away, into the forest. I…stabbed…every one of them…except…Ronald. I couldn’t. I just… couldn't.
Then they took Mommy…OH GOD. OH GOD NO. NO. NO! All her…all the…Mommy…
“Carol.”
I’m still here…
“I have to tell you something.”
“T-t-t-tell…tell…”
“Carol, listen! You have to promise not to break. This is very important.”
“Break…break?”
“If you let yourself cave in, this will all end and you’ll loose everything you’ve known.”
“What…”
“Carrie, listen to me! What you just saw would be lost to. But everything else…everything would be gone forever. No matter how much you want to forget what you did, you can’t lose yourself!”
“Lose…myself…”
I was shaking. So. Fucking. Hard. I couldn’t stop. But he kept coming closer…a dark pit closed behind him and I watched him get shredded inside. Ugh…No…Stop it, Daddy…Stop it…
“Carrie, can you see what’s happening?”
He was…alive? How…His voice…
“Carol…I need you to calm down and focus. Close you eyes and relax. Hold my hand.”
His hand was there. I let my mind empty.
“Remember what I said. Don’t let yourself break.”
“O-okay…Daddy…”
Everything suddenly shifted out of place. Nothing made sense. But…Megan was there. And Mommy. They were on the swings…What was going on? Then it exploded. Everything. I was a computer, downloading every piece of data I lacked. I was being hacked into, a virus spreading through my and corrupting my memory.
“Don’t let go, Carol!”
It hurt so badly! I wanted to open my eye, but the pressure was too strong, pushing against my whole body like a huge weight.
Then it ended.
Everything was white.
All around me, the forest started to reload again…I was back by the tree trunk. Though…Daddy wasn’t there anymore.
“Daddy?”
“Dad?”
“Carol…”
It was only a whisper now…almost sounding like it echoed merely within my own mind.
“Daddy?!”
“Don’t break, Carrie…”
“Where are you?”
“The worst is yet to come…”
“DADDY!”
The silence ate at me, and I started to cry again.
“Wait…”
“D…Da-”
“Trinity.”
“Yes…”
“You are not human.”
He’s right. I’m a monster.
Saturday, September 17, 2011
//gone\
Tim's gone. My eye is gone.
Oh, god, what happened? Have I lost everything? I..I have something covering the empty spot now, somehow it's easier to see...But, it's different. I don't know.
We're being kept by...MASC? Something like that. I can't think very well. But how can I type? Oh, Dia...Why Dia? Why am I thinking of her now? I don't know why I think of anything but Timothy. Timothy...
He just disappeared. I don't know where he went. I'm trying everything, everything, to find him again. Somehow...
I will. I'll try. But what can I do? I'm so scared now, Dia. I want...I want you to rescue me. How can you, though? Why do I rely on everyone to take care of me? Why can't I be like Ronald?
No. No. Tim searched four years for me. I'll do the same for him. But, no. How can I? What am I supposed to do? Why am I so confused? What about my Ladies? So many questions...how can I answer them all?
I don't know, Dia. Dia? I hear the voices now. Sybil. Threnody. Something else, I do not know. Nothing. I know nothing...How can I live like this?
I saw something...in the woods. My father. I have sisters, I have a mother. Or do I?
Oh, Dia...Please...don't let yourself into trouble.
Oh, god, what happened? Have I lost everything? I..I have something covering the empty spot now, somehow it's easier to see...But, it's different. I don't know.
We're being kept by...MASC? Something like that. I can't think very well. But how can I type? Oh, Dia...Why Dia? Why am I thinking of her now? I don't know why I think of anything but Timothy. Timothy...
He just disappeared. I don't know where he went. I'm trying everything, everything, to find him again. Somehow...
I will. I'll try. But what can I do? I'm so scared now, Dia. I want...I want you to rescue me. How can you, though? Why do I rely on everyone to take care of me? Why can't I be like Ronald?
No. No. Tim searched four years for me. I'll do the same for him. But, no. How can I? What am I supposed to do? Why am I so confused? What about my Ladies? So many questions...how can I answer them all?
I don't know, Dia. Dia? I hear the voices now. Sybil. Threnody. Something else, I do not know. Nothing. I know nothing...How can I live like this?
I saw something...in the woods. My father. I have sisters, I have a mother. Or do I?
Oh, Dia...Please...don't let yourself into trouble.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
//Baby Talk\
This morning has been one of the most frightening experiences of my life. I mean...one not including Proxies or violence. A non-Slenderman/Proxy related scary experience. There we go. :)
Mystery was bothered by that dream, but she doesn't think Thuggee sent it to her. Anyway, I was sitting on Tim's bed while he was in the kitchen, I believe, trying unsuccessfully to make some new clothing for Rodi. Mystery came in and said she wanted to talk to me, quite nervously...I thought I was in trouble at first, when she shut the door and stared at me for a while, her hands clasped tightly by her legs. It was suspicious, though, how embarrassed she looked when she came in.
"What's going on, Mystery?"
I had thought about saying, "What's up?" but thought it might have been weird if I did. I heard it on TV once, but those shows aren't very realistic.
She was blushing just a little, not really looking me in the eyes.
"I saw your comment on my post, Trina. About my dream."
"I...I'm sorry, did I do something wrong?"
"No, no! I just figured...you know, since you're a big girl now, sharing a bedroom with a boy, I should talk to you...about the rules."
"What rules? I know how to be good."
"Oh, yes, I know. But since you were talking about...babies...you must know then, at least what happens in a bedroom..." She looked really embarassed. "With a boy and a girl?"
"Um...they sleep together?"
This was getting uncomfortable.
"Not exactly, Trinity..."
"I don't get it. What are you trying to say?"
"Trina..." Mystery finally looked at me and took a deep breath, slapping her hands on her thighs. "You know there has to be a Mommy and a Daddy to make a baby, right?"
"Yes."
"And before the baby is born, it grows bigger and bigger in the Mommy's belly?"
"Uh-huh..."
"But before any of that happens...They have to...make the baby first."
"Oh...Well, I never really spent much time thinking about it. That wasn't exactly the first thing on my list."
And that's when she explained it to me. The whole thing. During it, my face probably looked like I was watching someone eat their own feces...But that couldn't even come close to how gross I felt during this conversation. I'm just glad...SO GLAD that Timothy wasn't in the room during this...awful...terrible experience. That reminds me...I better not be there if she decides to talk to Tim about...this.
"But...Mystery...That's awful. A watermelon-sized object isn't supposed to come out of a pea-sized hole!"
You're probably wishing I hadn't shared that thought with you. But I did.
At least you haven't been scarred so badly, you'll never feel comfortable sleeping next to your male friend again...He will always be a reminder of the day Mystery ruined my childhood.
But I still love Mystery.
Mystery was bothered by that dream, but she doesn't think Thuggee sent it to her. Anyway, I was sitting on Tim's bed while he was in the kitchen, I believe, trying unsuccessfully to make some new clothing for Rodi. Mystery came in and said she wanted to talk to me, quite nervously...I thought I was in trouble at first, when she shut the door and stared at me for a while, her hands clasped tightly by her legs. It was suspicious, though, how embarrassed she looked when she came in.
"What's going on, Mystery?"
I had thought about saying, "What's up?" but thought it might have been weird if I did. I heard it on TV once, but those shows aren't very realistic.
She was blushing just a little, not really looking me in the eyes.
"I saw your comment on my post, Trina. About my dream."
"I...I'm sorry, did I do something wrong?"
"No, no! I just figured...you know, since you're a big girl now, sharing a bedroom with a boy, I should talk to you...about the rules."
"What rules? I know how to be good."
"Oh, yes, I know. But since you were talking about...babies...you must know then, at least what happens in a bedroom..." She looked really embarassed. "With a boy and a girl?"
"Um...they sleep together?"
This was getting uncomfortable.
"Not exactly, Trinity..."
"I don't get it. What are you trying to say?"
"Trina..." Mystery finally looked at me and took a deep breath, slapping her hands on her thighs. "You know there has to be a Mommy and a Daddy to make a baby, right?"
"Yes."
"And before the baby is born, it grows bigger and bigger in the Mommy's belly?"
"Uh-huh..."
"But before any of that happens...They have to...make the baby first."
"Oh...Well, I never really spent much time thinking about it. That wasn't exactly the first thing on my list."
And that's when she explained it to me. The whole thing. During it, my face probably looked like I was watching someone eat their own feces...But that couldn't even come close to how gross I felt during this conversation. I'm just glad...SO GLAD that Timothy wasn't in the room during this...awful...terrible experience. That reminds me...I better not be there if she decides to talk to Tim about...this.
"But...Mystery...That's awful. A watermelon-sized object isn't supposed to come out of a pea-sized hole!"
You're probably wishing I hadn't shared that thought with you. But I did.
At least you haven't been scarred so badly, you'll never feel comfortable sleeping next to your male friend again...He will always be a reminder of the day Mystery ruined my childhood.
But I still love Mystery.
Saturday, September 3, 2011
//the Happy Voice\
Something odd happened today. I got a visitor that I wasn't expecting. I mean, ever since Threnody came and left, warning of another visit from someone named 'Sybil', I've been keeping a close eye out from anything weird. I've kept my toy close by, staying near the house, not playing much. I can tell Timothy's a bit worried...He even asked me what was wrong, but didn't persist, since he knows we're all still on edge, no matter how much hasn't happened that we thought already should have.
I spoke about the voice named Threnody I heard, and also may have seen, sitting out on the tire swing. That was scary...It wasn't the same this time, when I was outside on the edge of where I was pretty sure the wards were set up, looking out into the forest. Just relaxing. I could hear a bit of chatter inside, though I couldn't really tell whose voice was whose. Tim's been keeping himself busy...Although at times I kind of feel guilty for leaving him alone. But anyway...I didn't move much, just zoned out a bit. The calmness of the forest seemed to swipe me away from reality. I was...happy. That's when I heard a voice again. This one was different...sort of off in the distance, yet everywhere at once, just like Threnody's. It was a little girl's voice this time, maybe a couple years younger than me...Still, I wasn't going to let that get my guard down. I stood up and got ready to attack it, or even run, if something came out that I wasn't expecting. But...what was I expecting?
Trinity!~
Her voice came out somewhat sing-songy...melodic, yet still sounding young. It was slowly getting closer, my arms shaking.
I see a little thatch! Here I come, out from this patch!~
I jumped as a shrub started rustling. Out from it came a girl, around my age, wearing some sort of silly costume. An odd looking hat was crooked on her head of messy, bright blond hair, with a long curly orange thing hanging down from the top of it. Her garb looked like an old jester's outfit, with jingle bells and everything. Her face...wasn't scarred or anything. In fact, she seemed totally untouched. She even looked a little bit like myself, beside her eyes and skin tone differing from my own.
I couldn't help but stand and stare as this small thing emerged from the bushes, jingling as each foot stepped forward. We both stood there, looking at each other...My head tilted slightly in confusion, her head mimicking mine, and a bright smile on her tanned face. Suddenly, she jumped up, higher than I've ever seen a child leap before, landing on the other side of me. I made sure to follow her every movement, still ready to defend myself at any moment. But there she was, just skipping and dancing about, plucking away on a lute I never noticed she had before. She turned to me after a moment, took a deep breathe, and starting quickly strumming the strings of her mini instrument.
I came to visit you, as you can see! When I heard it was my turn, I said, 'Whoopie!'~
I have to admit, she was kind of cute, prancing around and singing in that high voice. Still, some things appearing to be cute can be deadly. Dollmaker, for example. But anyway, she did make me laugh just a bit.
I like to rhyme, as you can see. Truthfully it's quite fun for me! I like to dance and run and play. I also sing instead of say!~
Alright...By this point, I'd let my toy drop to the ground, as I started jogging after her. She was spinning now, starting down the path, but stopped when she say me still standing near the mansion. So she skipped, twirling, back up, grinning when she saw me smile.
Spinning's fun, and also free! Oh yes, hello, I'm Jubilee!~
I nodded at her, still following her wherever she would roam, picking up my toy and keeping it halfway in my pocket, just in case. I didn't exactly know what was going on, so when she stopped whirling around, looking more than a bit dizzy, I leaned back on a tree and decided to ask.
"Miss Jubilee...You're very nice. I would like to ask, though, where you came from. And why you're here."
Jubilee smiled up at me, reaching into her pocket as I readied myself to duck and run. Instead of a weapon, she pulled out another instrument, a flute, and began tooting away on it, hopping up and down in circles around the tree.
I come from somewhere you know well, sometimes a park, sometimes a cell. The reason for me being here...
She paused to play the flute a little, then beamed up at me and continued.
Your happiness came back, my dear!~
"What do you mean, 'my happiness', though? And...I don't get what you're telling me."
Do you remember Threnody? She was quite sad and unhappy. So what would you call someone like her? Her goals in life all becoming a blur.~
"You know Threnody?!"
I stood back and frowned, her smile disappearing. She started getting paler...paler...Until she lifted up the lute and did her dance again. I couldn't help but smile and dance with her. She repeated her question.
"She was...Pessimistic, I guess."
Pessimistic? Well, not quite. Her attitude is dark as night. She's lost the point there is to live. Depressing advice she is to give.~
"Then...she's...she acts...she's lost all hope."
Hopelessness! That is the word! As sad as a lost, flightless bird. Now what would you call me, my friend? Your memory we must mend.~
"If she's Hopelessness...Are you...Happiness?"
Suddenly, Jubilee leaped up and shouted, taking out her flute and loudly blowing one continuous note into my ear. I cringed and backed up, tripping over a branch. She ran over to me and dragged me onto my feet, squeezing my hand as I was pulled behind her.
Happiness, I am, indeed! And joy is something everyone needs. Now that you know what we represent, do you understand our true intent?~
I was trying to remember what she said earlier. When I asked where she came from, and why...A place I knew well. Sometimes pleasant, sometimes not. My happiness came back...I was starting to get it. Just a little bit.
"Are you my Happiness, Jubilee? Is that why I can hear you in my head?"
Yes, yes, yes, you've got it right! I knew you'd think with all your might. I was there when you were glad! Happy, joyous, but never sad.~
"So then...Threnody must be my Hopelessness?"
Jubilee nodded at me, finally standing still as she plucked some more on her tiny lute. She was still smiling, tapping her feet in those curled shoes, jingling with each little movement.
"So then who is Sybil?"
Well of course there is not only two! Why, then, you'd only be joyful or blue! Oh no, there are many others. Until they are felt, they hide under the covers!~
She hopped up again, and kept dancing around, singing some other words I weren't really listening to. I still don't get it...some of it, at least. It was different, not normal, being able to hear someone when their mouths don't move, and everywhere at once, even though you've discovered they're your own emotions. And there are more of them, too. I just wish I knew what they were...Of course there are going to be bad ones. Threnody is bad enough, so now I know whenever I'm sad she'll be hanging around, bugging me again. I can't imagine what anger will be like.
We spent a while just playing together. I pushed her on the swing for a bit while she played her flute, then we went walking by the garden till we reached a rather large puddle. I didn't see it...I stepped into it by accident, and my sneaker was flooded with muddy, gross, cold water. When I looked for her, starting to cry just a bit, she wasn't there. I didn't hear her or anything. I went around the whole mansion, inside and out, calling for her...If she really is my Happiness, I guess she disappeared when I got my shoe wet. I wasn't happy anymore...I expected to see Threnody there, but nothing happened.
Did that really happen in my head?
I'm really starting to doubt whether I'm truly sane.
I spoke about the voice named Threnody I heard, and also may have seen, sitting out on the tire swing. That was scary...It wasn't the same this time, when I was outside on the edge of where I was pretty sure the wards were set up, looking out into the forest. Just relaxing. I could hear a bit of chatter inside, though I couldn't really tell whose voice was whose. Tim's been keeping himself busy...Although at times I kind of feel guilty for leaving him alone. But anyway...I didn't move much, just zoned out a bit. The calmness of the forest seemed to swipe me away from reality. I was...happy. That's when I heard a voice again. This one was different...sort of off in the distance, yet everywhere at once, just like Threnody's. It was a little girl's voice this time, maybe a couple years younger than me...Still, I wasn't going to let that get my guard down. I stood up and got ready to attack it, or even run, if something came out that I wasn't expecting. But...what was I expecting?
Trinity!~
Her voice came out somewhat sing-songy...melodic, yet still sounding young. It was slowly getting closer, my arms shaking.
I see a little thatch! Here I come, out from this patch!~
I jumped as a shrub started rustling. Out from it came a girl, around my age, wearing some sort of silly costume. An odd looking hat was crooked on her head of messy, bright blond hair, with a long curly orange thing hanging down from the top of it. Her garb looked like an old jester's outfit, with jingle bells and everything. Her face...wasn't scarred or anything. In fact, she seemed totally untouched. She even looked a little bit like myself, beside her eyes and skin tone differing from my own.
I couldn't help but stand and stare as this small thing emerged from the bushes, jingling as each foot stepped forward. We both stood there, looking at each other...My head tilted slightly in confusion, her head mimicking mine, and a bright smile on her tanned face. Suddenly, she jumped up, higher than I've ever seen a child leap before, landing on the other side of me. I made sure to follow her every movement, still ready to defend myself at any moment. But there she was, just skipping and dancing about, plucking away on a lute I never noticed she had before. She turned to me after a moment, took a deep breathe, and starting quickly strumming the strings of her mini instrument.
I came to visit you, as you can see! When I heard it was my turn, I said, 'Whoopie!'~
I have to admit, she was kind of cute, prancing around and singing in that high voice. Still, some things appearing to be cute can be deadly. Dollmaker, for example. But anyway, she did make me laugh just a bit.
I like to rhyme, as you can see. Truthfully it's quite fun for me! I like to dance and run and play. I also sing instead of say!~
Alright...By this point, I'd let my toy drop to the ground, as I started jogging after her. She was spinning now, starting down the path, but stopped when she say me still standing near the mansion. So she skipped, twirling, back up, grinning when she saw me smile.
Spinning's fun, and also free! Oh yes, hello, I'm Jubilee!~
I nodded at her, still following her wherever she would roam, picking up my toy and keeping it halfway in my pocket, just in case. I didn't exactly know what was going on, so when she stopped whirling around, looking more than a bit dizzy, I leaned back on a tree and decided to ask.
"Miss Jubilee...You're very nice. I would like to ask, though, where you came from. And why you're here."
Jubilee smiled up at me, reaching into her pocket as I readied myself to duck and run. Instead of a weapon, she pulled out another instrument, a flute, and began tooting away on it, hopping up and down in circles around the tree.
I come from somewhere you know well, sometimes a park, sometimes a cell. The reason for me being here...
She paused to play the flute a little, then beamed up at me and continued.
Your happiness came back, my dear!~
"What do you mean, 'my happiness', though? And...I don't get what you're telling me."
Do you remember Threnody? She was quite sad and unhappy. So what would you call someone like her? Her goals in life all becoming a blur.~
"You know Threnody?!"
I stood back and frowned, her smile disappearing. She started getting paler...paler...Until she lifted up the lute and did her dance again. I couldn't help but smile and dance with her. She repeated her question.
"She was...Pessimistic, I guess."
Pessimistic? Well, not quite. Her attitude is dark as night. She's lost the point there is to live. Depressing advice she is to give.~
"Then...she's...she acts...she's lost all hope."
Hopelessness! That is the word! As sad as a lost, flightless bird. Now what would you call me, my friend? Your memory we must mend.~
"If she's Hopelessness...Are you...Happiness?"
Suddenly, Jubilee leaped up and shouted, taking out her flute and loudly blowing one continuous note into my ear. I cringed and backed up, tripping over a branch. She ran over to me and dragged me onto my feet, squeezing my hand as I was pulled behind her.
Happiness, I am, indeed! And joy is something everyone needs. Now that you know what we represent, do you understand our true intent?~
I was trying to remember what she said earlier. When I asked where she came from, and why...A place I knew well. Sometimes pleasant, sometimes not. My happiness came back...I was starting to get it. Just a little bit.
"Are you my Happiness, Jubilee? Is that why I can hear you in my head?"
Yes, yes, yes, you've got it right! I knew you'd think with all your might. I was there when you were glad! Happy, joyous, but never sad.~
"So then...Threnody must be my Hopelessness?"
Jubilee nodded at me, finally standing still as she plucked some more on her tiny lute. She was still smiling, tapping her feet in those curled shoes, jingling with each little movement.
"So then who is Sybil?"
Well of course there is not only two! Why, then, you'd only be joyful or blue! Oh no, there are many others. Until they are felt, they hide under the covers!~
She hopped up again, and kept dancing around, singing some other words I weren't really listening to. I still don't get it...some of it, at least. It was different, not normal, being able to hear someone when their mouths don't move, and everywhere at once, even though you've discovered they're your own emotions. And there are more of them, too. I just wish I knew what they were...Of course there are going to be bad ones. Threnody is bad enough, so now I know whenever I'm sad she'll be hanging around, bugging me again. I can't imagine what anger will be like.
We spent a while just playing together. I pushed her on the swing for a bit while she played her flute, then we went walking by the garden till we reached a rather large puddle. I didn't see it...I stepped into it by accident, and my sneaker was flooded with muddy, gross, cold water. When I looked for her, starting to cry just a bit, she wasn't there. I didn't hear her or anything. I went around the whole mansion, inside and out, calling for her...If she really is my Happiness, I guess she disappeared when I got my shoe wet. I wasn't happy anymore...I expected to see Threnody there, but nothing happened.
Did that really happen in my head?
I'm really starting to doubt whether I'm truly sane.
Friday, September 2, 2011
//Voices\
I know this is not good...I know I might be crazy. No...No, I am crazy. I already know that much. I've been crazy ever since I got here. I just wouldn't say it. I'm sure Ronald knew it too, as does Shady and the others. Of course, aren't we all really crazy? I know my adviser is...I'm pretty sure Lullaby is too. I hope she doesn't get mad I'm saying this, though.
The point I'm trying to get to is that...I heard something earlier this evening. Sort of like a whisper. I thought it was just me...But I don't know anymore. I could tell it was a woman's, or maybe a girl's, voice.
hey...
I'm always paranoid, so I spun around, looked everywhere. Then grabbed my "toy" from its secret place.
i'll be seeing you soon...
It didn't come from one place...It was sort of all over the room. I couldn't figure it out so I got my toy ready and stood still.
you'll meet my friends. hope you don't die before then...hehe...
I didn't even call out at this point.
my name's Threnody. not that it matters much. labels don't have much meaning in the end, do they? whether it's George or Julie or Mike...it's always the same, anyway.
It wasn't anyone I knew. I got ready to attack it...The voice was coming closer. This was weird...But I thought I saw someone outside on the swing.
but whatever. you'll see, thatch. they'll be coming when you need them. when you feel them. Sybil's looking forward to your visit a lot...until then...
Then it just faded. I don't know...what happened. Who's Sybil? Threnody? I'm so confused...I don't want to tell my Ladies, but I'm sure they'll see this anyway. They'll think I'm crazy. But who cares anyway? I am crazy.
She was right. What does it matter anyway when I know how things will end? How they always end...
The point I'm trying to get to is that...I heard something earlier this evening. Sort of like a whisper. I thought it was just me...But I don't know anymore. I could tell it was a woman's, or maybe a girl's, voice.
hey...
I'm always paranoid, so I spun around, looked everywhere. Then grabbed my "toy" from its secret place.
i'll be seeing you soon...
It didn't come from one place...It was sort of all over the room. I couldn't figure it out so I got my toy ready and stood still.
you'll meet my friends. hope you don't die before then...hehe...
I didn't even call out at this point.
my name's Threnody. not that it matters much. labels don't have much meaning in the end, do they? whether it's George or Julie or Mike...it's always the same, anyway.
It wasn't anyone I knew. I got ready to attack it...The voice was coming closer. This was weird...But I thought I saw someone outside on the swing.
but whatever. you'll see, thatch. they'll be coming when you need them. when you feel them. Sybil's looking forward to your visit a lot...until then...
Then it just faded. I don't know...what happened. Who's Sybil? Threnody? I'm so confused...I don't want to tell my Ladies, but I'm sure they'll see this anyway. They'll think I'm crazy. But who cares anyway? I am crazy.
She was right. What does it matter anyway when I know how things will end? How they always end...
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
//Dia\
Dia,
I am doing quite fine, my Lady. I have been enjoying this time of relaxation...
I have met you too. It has been a great gift to me...all the friends I have made, new Siblings I've gained. This life is difficult, but there are many joys that hide among the sorrows and fear that we know so well/ I must let you know that although now we are enjoying this time together, I am still very cautious of what may lay ahead of us. So many eyes are watching us, or more specifically Mystery and Shady...I know that they are just waiting for a moment of vulnerability, a moment to strike. It frightens me, Sister...Although I feel much better knowing you are not here, where all the trouble brews.
Lady Lullaby did my face the other day. She made me beautiful, just like Shady. I wondered if Mystery would allow me to make my hair colorful like my Lady's...I would prefer a faint shade of blue, though, instead of purple. I think I would look just as lovely as my Ladies...They are the most gorgeous women in the whole world, Dia! I am sure you are beautiful as well. Just like your heart and your wisdom.
I have not mentioned this in a while since it has happened, but Lullaby made me a doll, just like the Dollmaker, just darker. I have named her 'Rodi'. She's a very pretty girl. Lullaby does hard work for us all, despite all that's happened to her in the past. She has a kind soul. I used to be frightened of her when the Dollmaker lived inside of her, but now I see that she is quite pleasant. I've discovered what best friendship really is with her. I love her dearly.
I hope that you fair well, dear Sister. You are kind, and do not deserve to be treated badly. That is why, if anyone shall ever make you feel unsafe, or threaten you, it would be my pleasure to personally bring a painful end to them. I feel that it is my duty to protect my Ladies, and all my friends. All who have shown kindness to me.
I wish I had more to talk about...Although this is all that has really happened since I last posted. We have been trying to ignore the bad things, and continue with our lives. I've been trying so hard to do what my precious Shady says, to be a child again. I wish you could come to visit us...
I am doing quite fine, my Lady. I have been enjoying this time of relaxation...
I have met you too. It has been a great gift to me...all the friends I have made, new Siblings I've gained. This life is difficult, but there are many joys that hide among the sorrows and fear that we know so well/ I must let you know that although now we are enjoying this time together, I am still very cautious of what may lay ahead of us. So many eyes are watching us, or more specifically Mystery and Shady...I know that they are just waiting for a moment of vulnerability, a moment to strike. It frightens me, Sister...Although I feel much better knowing you are not here, where all the trouble brews.
Lady Lullaby did my face the other day. She made me beautiful, just like Shady. I wondered if Mystery would allow me to make my hair colorful like my Lady's...I would prefer a faint shade of blue, though, instead of purple. I think I would look just as lovely as my Ladies...They are the most gorgeous women in the whole world, Dia! I am sure you are beautiful as well. Just like your heart and your wisdom.
I have not mentioned this in a while since it has happened, but Lullaby made me a doll, just like the Dollmaker, just darker. I have named her 'Rodi'. She's a very pretty girl. Lullaby does hard work for us all, despite all that's happened to her in the past. She has a kind soul. I used to be frightened of her when the Dollmaker lived inside of her, but now I see that she is quite pleasant. I've discovered what best friendship really is with her. I love her dearly.
I hope that you fair well, dear Sister. You are kind, and do not deserve to be treated badly. That is why, if anyone shall ever make you feel unsafe, or threaten you, it would be my pleasure to personally bring a painful end to them. I feel that it is my duty to protect my Ladies, and all my friends. All who have shown kindness to me.
I wish I had more to talk about...Although this is all that has really happened since I last posted. We have been trying to ignore the bad things, and continue with our lives. I've been trying so hard to do what my precious Shady says, to be a child again. I wish you could come to visit us...
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
//joyhopehappinesslove\
There are so many things I feel right now! I am joyful, I am happy, I am hopeful! I love my Lady, and she is back! My Ladies are all here. Mystery, Shady, Lullaby! I suggest that we all have an ice creams party, and Timothy, Lucas, Drake, and Ecko can come too. We will have triple chocolate ice creams in cones, with whipped cream on top and sprinkles and cherries! Unless the others do not like cherries...I only like them on ice creams.
The storms kept us up. Mystery was very nervous I believe, as she kept jumping more than I at each sound of thunder. I was feeling uncomfortable as well, though...I think of all the Siblings that could be watching us...hidden. It makes me worry too much.
I made gifts for everyone. I will keep them hidden until the ice creams party. There is one for my Lady, Lullaby, Mystery, Liam, Drake and Ecko, and...there is also one for Victor. I realize that they are not the best, but Ronald said that the best gifts are made by the hands of the giver. That was the time when I drew him a picture of the nature with a little box of crayons he gave to me. He did not make those...although he gave them to me so that I could make something of them. I had to hide them under my clothing in the Cage or the Siblings would take them away and lash us. Ronald...He liked the picture.
He still had it when we buried him. He kept it in his pocket. It never wrinkled.
The storms kept us up. Mystery was very nervous I believe, as she kept jumping more than I at each sound of thunder. I was feeling uncomfortable as well, though...I think of all the Siblings that could be watching us...hidden. It makes me worry too much.
I made gifts for everyone. I will keep them hidden until the ice creams party. There is one for my Lady, Lullaby, Mystery, Liam, Drake and Ecko, and...there is also one for Victor. I realize that they are not the best, but Ronald said that the best gifts are made by the hands of the giver. That was the time when I drew him a picture of the nature with a little box of crayons he gave to me. He did not make those...although he gave them to me so that I could make something of them. I had to hide them under my clothing in the Cage or the Siblings would take them away and lash us. Ronald...He liked the picture.
He still had it when we buried him. He kept it in his pocket. It never wrinkled.
Monday, August 8, 2011
//my Lady - Victor\
I wonder how Shady is doing.
This is much different from the time the Executor took her. Then, I was able to see just what was going on there...I hated it, of course. I hated being able to see such horrible things being done to her, my lovely Lady...Now, although I know it is not torture - at least not physically - I still cannot read how she is. If she is injured at all. If she is feeling sad or angry or happy. Surely she is not, though...not happy if we are left alone, unprotected. She would want to be here with us, now that Mystery has been hurt and shaken by her fight with Prosper, and now that Lucas is in such rivalry with Dollmaker.
Timothy and I are doing fine so far. Drake and Ecko are too, I believe. I have not seen them around recently, but I was not told whether they have left anywhere or not. I assume they are just busy, making their new lives here comfortable and at least enjoyable while we are not being threatened by the Siblings. I have been watching closely the activities on our enemies blogs, checking any hints that they might be planning anything. I am sure the rest of us are too, though, so we shall all be aware of any changes, or signs of danger.
Victor, if you would do me a great favor, I would like to ask that you give my Lady a message. I am not sure whether you will even do so for me, though I might as well try. Here is my message:
Hello Shady. It is Trina. I just wanted to let you know that we are all doing fine, although we do miss you very much. I know that wherever you are, you are doing fine on your own, because you are very strong and courageous. Mystery is protecting us just like you would. She is being a very good caretaker to us all. Lucas is also being helpful, or at least I trust he is. I am sure you miss us too, but we will stay strong and be patient until you are returned to us. My Lady, no matter how unsure and how frightened you may become, I will always be thinking and fighting for you. We all will.
This is much different from the time the Executor took her. Then, I was able to see just what was going on there...I hated it, of course. I hated being able to see such horrible things being done to her, my lovely Lady...Now, although I know it is not torture - at least not physically - I still cannot read how she is. If she is injured at all. If she is feeling sad or angry or happy. Surely she is not, though...not happy if we are left alone, unprotected. She would want to be here with us, now that Mystery has been hurt and shaken by her fight with Prosper, and now that Lucas is in such rivalry with Dollmaker.
Timothy and I are doing fine so far. Drake and Ecko are too, I believe. I have not seen them around recently, but I was not told whether they have left anywhere or not. I assume they are just busy, making their new lives here comfortable and at least enjoyable while we are not being threatened by the Siblings. I have been watching closely the activities on our enemies blogs, checking any hints that they might be planning anything. I am sure the rest of us are too, though, so we shall all be aware of any changes, or signs of danger.
Victor, if you would do me a great favor, I would like to ask that you give my Lady a message. I am not sure whether you will even do so for me, though I might as well try. Here is my message:
Hello Shady. It is Trina. I just wanted to let you know that we are all doing fine, although we do miss you very much. I know that wherever you are, you are doing fine on your own, because you are very strong and courageous. Mystery is protecting us just like you would. She is being a very good caretaker to us all. Lucas is also being helpful, or at least I trust he is. I am sure you miss us too, but we will stay strong and be patient until you are returned to us. My Lady, no matter how unsure and how frightened you may become, I will always be thinking and fighting for you. We all will.
Love,
Trina <3
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