I told you how I watched him from me bed, still awake though he didn't see it, when he would go out into the woods at night for reasons I did not know. Now I do understand, for he told me the night that I woke up in my hammock, kissed by him again, as I knew he was headed for the forest once again. This time, once he was out of sight, the voices came to me this time. I saw him, Ronald, speaking to someone though I could not see who, for I was afraid of what my eyes were telling me. She was a girl, twelve years old, with wheat-colored short hair and creamy pale skin, with many scars and bruises. Her eyes were mine, but they were covered by a mask, and I could not see them. But I knew. Because she was me.
So I made a mistake. For which I now hate myself. I went out from my place of hiding, and spoke to my Brother, who now did not look angered by my sudden appearance, but rather puzzled.
"Ronald, who is this? What is happening?! I am confused!"
He told me to go back to my bed and sleep again, which I refused to do as I continued questioning my dear, poor, sweet brother. WHY DID I FOLLOW THEM WHY DID I GO TALK TO HER WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHYWYWHYWHY???????????????
She jumped up at me. I was so stupid. Sososo stupid!! She didn't hurt me yet, but her hackles were raised like a cat's and her claws were unsheathed too. Ronald chased her out, back into the forest where she came. So I followed. Stupid me. But I had to protect my Brother! My Sibling. I love him. I love how he was and is, and his body which now lies out back...Beautiful body. I love his face, you know. It matches my own. Smeared with blood and ugly betrayal. I am hideous, but he is not...So, we are different.
I can't remember a thing but the burning feeling that spread through my legs while I ran after him. The trees were all blurred out, and nothing else mattered but him, my sweet, darling Brother. I couldn't let myself hurt Ronald. So, when we stopped, and they began to argue, fight, and she came up on top of me, knife in her hand and smile on her face, I just screamed. Screamed and kicked and gasped. Gasped as he tore the clone off of me and flung it. Then wrestled with it on the ground. Then froze. Froze, and made a coughing noise. Ugh...I hate myself.
He was gone. No, no, not gone. Please don't be gone, Ronald!! PLEASE, DON'T GO NOW, BECAUSE...I NEED YOU. YOU'RE MY ONLY FAMILY, RONALD. MOM AND DAD ARE GONE, BUT YOU'RE ALL I HAVE. REMEMBER, RON? I' YOUR CARE-BEAR, SEE? I'M REAL...DON'T LEAVE ME, PLEASE. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!! RONALD! He coughed up lots of blood.
I'm still here, Carrie. I made the door hurt your leg, remember? I'm so sorry, Care-bear...It was an accident. I meant for it to fall on one of your friends...and for that, you may hate me, but I'm...I'm so, so sorry, Care! I did it for you. Please understand. Couldn't let Father kill you...Listen. I love you. Don't you ever, EVER forget that. Ron loves you...Just like Mommy and Daddy did...I remember them...Remember me...
Gone. Gone. Gone. Gone.
But she's still there, isn't she?
But then Timothy came from somewhere, while I cradled Ronald like he used to when I was a baby, in my arms. He came and pushed the clone over, I think. Maybe she stabbed herself on accident. I don't know.
Why can't she just kill me already?
Why am I still writing?