Friday, July 8, 2011

//lost little toy\

  Lady Lullaby got rid of the Dollmaker. She does not seem very well right now, either. I am very worried for her. The Dollmaker is a part of her, I believe. What if she dies without her? I know that if I lost my lovely Lady, my wise advisor, that I would surely be sick as Lullaby and die. I do not like looking back on the days when my precious Shady was lost, hurt, and in danger...I hate this all. At first, I believed that if I were to come join my family in this resting place, that I would be safe and happy forever with them. None of us are safe, it seems, and I am not happy. Ronald acts odd and doesn't seem to very much like my new Siblings, I am constantly afraid that my Lady will leave me again, Mystery is angry because of her family and the Executor, Lady Lullaby is ill and quiet, the man named Drake is blind and full of night terrors that scare me, and I miss Timothy.
  Yes. Yes. Yes! I miss Timothy, I miss the days I cannot even remember, and I miss that little lake we made. I miss Butterfingers and hugs and playing in the park. I miss the days before I awoke in a Cage, before dolls could walk and speak, before I was forced to call a monster my Father. I wish I could not remember it at all, and be normal. I see the other people around in the grocery stores when I get ice creams with Ronald, and in the videos he shows me. They are happy. They have their Timothys and Fathers and Siblings. I cannot even remember my Father! I cannot even remember Ronald! Why can I remember Timothy, but not Ronald, my sweet Brother? I know he is my Brother, because we love each other, and Siblings look just like each other, yes? We both do look the same. But I can't remember him at all from before I lived in Father's building.
  I hate the way we are living. This place is old and creaky and it scares me at night. Even in the daytime, it is as if we must look over our shoulders every moment to check that it us only us that are around. We are never left alone. I hear Ronald walk by me as I pretend to sleep, kissing my forehead, then walking outside into the forest. He does not know I watch him, but I do, as he goes away from me and disappears into the trees. I swear I have tried to keep myself awake to see when he comes back, what he has been doing, but I fall asleep every night and wake up with him in the house again. He never smiles anymore.
  What happens when we die? If there is Heaven, I will be a good girl and go there, so I can see Timothy and be happy. If I could live again as another person, I wish to be normal.


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