That was my reaction. Gawd! Why should it be so important? I mean, he's home now, right? So why should something that happened years ago bug my now? Ugh...I wish he hadn't told me that. But at the same time, if I found out later he hadn't, I'd probably be more angry than I am now! Am I angry? GAH! You see now, Ike, what I mean by confused? I can't even understand my own feelings!
At first it was the kiss part that got me. But...then...they dated, didn't they? I asked where, and he said (Tim said), "This girl...from school. She came and visited me in the hospital, and I guess she kinda liked me." Of course...So early after. If I hadn't pushed him off that bridge, if I hadn't left him behind to fuck up my life, that stupid dumb girl wouldn't have showed up. Wouldn't have stolen Timmy.
But...why? I never...I never kissed anyone while he was gone. When my eye got ripped out, no one ever saw me getting visited by boys! No one ever saw me betraying Tim for someone else!
Ugh...If Tim reads this...What would you do, Ike? If you found out the one person you never stopped thinking about, never stopped loving, kissed another girl when you were gone? Replaced you? Is it fair...to say he replaced me?
there are so many things that factor into this trinitas...im not sure id be the best judge on whether what he did was right. i dont know him, and barely know you. HOWEVER i will let you know this. i get it. on one hand, it seems like he tried to replace you, and you should be angry about this! yet on the other hand....it was so long ago.....and soo, so much has changed...can you really judge him? perhaps he made these mistakes out of fear.
ReplyDeleteperhaps he thought you were dead and was trying to move on from his grief.
the more important question to ask dear trinitas, is if he is worth it to you. is he important enough that you can over look this, or will the be a problem??
no matter what, you must stay strong trinitas.
you have much to become before you may choose to give up.
stay safe and sane my dear. ill keep in touch,
-Ike+
Thanks, Ike. I dunno why I asked you...I guess you just seem good for advice. :)
ReplyDeleteI don't really know who else to ask. Dia's disappeared...Mystery...I dunno. That would be awkward. I'm sure Betty's never been in a relationship. Maybe DeMii, but I don't wanna bother her.
But...Yes. He is worth it. I'm going to try to at least ignore it for a while...Thanks.
All I felt was guilt. No one could replace you. People leave, and people disappear, and people meet new people - but you can't replace someone dear to you.
ReplyDeletejust dont hurt trinitas. because if you do i will have shady up your ass like a spiked dildo.
ReplyDeletesorry, once again, to much emotion.
not a problem trinitas, i will always be here for you and your kind. remember that.
I'm sure he was just hurting after losing you and needed comfort. At the most, she was taking advantage of him in his weakness. She saw the opportunity to "nurse him back to health" as a way to convince him that she was "the one," which she clearly was not since he continued to search for you.
ReplyDeleteNo reason to be jealous at all.
precisely what i was thinking.
ReplyDeleteTrinity, love, I miss you.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry I wasn't here for you to talk to.
When you need me, you can find me now. Whenever, about whatever you need.
Fuck, I'm sorry.