No...it will never be goodbye. I know that someday I'll come back...whenever you need me, I'll come back.
But Tim and I...if Tim chooses to go, then we both will. I have a promise to myself. My sister is alive, somewhere out there, and I need to find her. I...ever since I saw my father again, I've told myself it was me. It was my fault that they're all gone. But if this is true...if she's alive, I have another chance. Maybe...maybe I can have a better life. Maybe I can escape from all this...maybe...
I don't want to leave my family behind. No, my heart stays with them. If anything happens, I will come back to protect them. Just, for now, I need to find out these things I've buried inside. I need to know myself before I try to figure out why this is all happening. Once I've figured things out...I can come back...But my sister...
I'm tired and I can't write much. I know how little I've said on this blog since last month. Things have worked slowly, recently...just taking care of Little Lullaby is what we've done. I've grown distant...the Voices have grown stronger. I think I know them all, now...Things I keep hidden from myself, I am becoming aware of. Maybe I've always known my sister was still out there somewhere...I'm still not sure. I still don't understand myself sometimes.
I've told them about this. But...I need to go...Someday I'll come back...I know I will.
It's not goodbye yet.