Friday, November 18, 2011

//I Have To Leave, But It's Not Goodbye\ will never be goodbye. I know that someday I'll come back...whenever you need me, I'll come back.

  But Tim and I...if Tim chooses to go, then we both will. I have a promise to myself. My sister is alive, somewhere out there, and I need to find her. I...ever since I saw my father again, I've told myself it was me. It was my fault that they're all gone. But if this is true...if she's alive, I have another chance. Maybe...maybe I can have a better life. Maybe I can escape from all this...maybe...

  I don't want to leave my family behind. No, my heart stays with them. If anything happens, I will come back to protect them. Just, for now, I need to find out these things I've buried inside. I need to know myself before I try to figure out why this is all happening. Once I've figured things out...I can come back...But my sister...

  I'm tired and I can't write much. I know how little I've said on this blog since last month. Things have worked slowly, recently...just taking care of Little Lullaby is what we've done. I've grown distant...the Voices have grown stronger. I think I know them all, now...Things I keep hidden from myself, I am becoming aware of. Maybe I've always known my sister was still out there somewhere...I'm still not sure. I still don't understand myself sometimes.

  I've told them about this. But...I need to go...Someday I'll come back...I know I will.

It's not goodbye yet.



  1. trinitas...........i want to tell you there is no escape. i want to be honest with you so you dont end up crashing into the reality of life like an angel with unstitchable broken wings.

    but im going to say go for it. do what feels right. cause you never know how long you have to do the right thing.

    be wary...PLEASE..


  2. Trinity, do what you need to. I know we talked already and I hope you travel safely. Please, keep in contact with me with calls at least if you won't be around to update here.

    You are loved by your family here. Please take any supplies you need with you and stay safe. If Tim goes with you both of you, stay safe.

    I'm sorry I cannot be there to see you off either. I can't really move around as much as I would like, and Advocate doesn't really intend to let us part so soon. So I'll just tell you here and tell you on our calls that you will be missed for you are deeply loved by us, by me. And if you need anything, no matter what it is, let me know. Our doors are always open for you.

  3. Thank Lady, my Brother. When I come back, I will be stronger...I'll keep in touch.