Friday, May 20, 2011


  These punishments are nothing similar to a few quick lashes on the chest or back. They are not a little sting, lasting but a few moments before fading as if they had never existed. They do not leave a long strip of red down my skin as a memory of what I had done wrong. They leave nothing, yet every pain I have ever felt combined, surging through every vein in my body.
  I have hurt. I have hurt badly, but I have loved. At least I believe I have. It was such a different feeling from grasping Father's murderous hand, quickly embracing Ronald, an empty gesture with no meaning. Yet we hoped it would change us. We hoped that if we stayed together and refused to part, although hiding our bond, that this small gesture would change us and make us human again. It would not, but something else would. Something that may damage us, but would never extinguish what we had hoped was always true.
  Brother's room was still empty when I had been allowed to stay outside the cage another night, another joyous evening that I would cherish fondly. The mattress was awfully rancid, like the rotting corpses in the cage, but it was not as cold and rough as the floor which I laid on in that wired cellar. Ronald was smiling, not the way I think he should have been. Our smiles, mine and Ronald's and the Siblings', never feel right. They feel sour, bitter. Tasteless...Lacking something I cannot process. This data is not programmed into the Siblings, though I am certain it must be buried somewhere in my mind.
  Ronald's smile still existed, and his lips spoke the words I had longed to hear since I had entered this place...I made no effort to turn this away, to push my hopes down and restrict them from rising. It was the sound of music, although it was only words. But it sounded like sounded like happiness. 
"I overheard three Brothers speaking. You might be released from the cage soon."
  Then time flew by us once again, and my hair almost brushed against my face in the breeze it left behind. It was instantly night, and Ronald took me into the nature. He took me into a little patch of our hair, which sprouting out of the soil sadly. It felt my emotions. Ronald was silent, he was not smiling. What an awful eavesdropper! Though this time, what I thought would be a young Sister's gossip was nothing I had expected.
"Like a Father and a Mother's Daughter."
"The woman who would give birth to a child."
"Father's Sister?"
"No, Father's lover."
"Yes. Their Daughter and their Son."
"Brother and Sister."
"Yes. You are my Sister, and I am your Brother."
"I share a room with my Brother."
"No, no! He is not your real Brother."
"Then what is he?"
"He is a colleague. He merely works with you."
"He is not my Father's Child?"
"You know He is not your Father."
"But he is."
"Not in the true sense of the word. Yes, he has raised you somewhat. But he did not create you."
"Then who did create me?"
"I am not sure, but we have the same creators."
"Our Father is the same?"
"As is our Mother. We are Siblings."
"They said this?"
"Three Brothers in your Father's red room. They spoke of it."
"They spoke about our not knowing about it. They laughed at our distance."
"But they do not laugh."
"No, but they thought it humorous."
"Hmm. What shall we do about this then?"
"I don't know. I thought I should tell you."
"You have."
"You still don't understand, do you?"
"We are related. We share the same Mother, the same true Father. We may even have other Siblings. This is why we look alike."
"I had always thought Siblings did not need to."
"They do. Because their Mother's and Father's appearance combine together, and the Children look like both the Father and Mother."
"Hmm, I do understand. Does this change us?"
"It means we are closer to one means we should feel differently now."
"I'm not sure."
"Then what shall we do?"
"There is a reason I told you this. Something is supposed to change. We are supposed to feel differently now."
"An emotion?"
"Yes, a connection."
"Yes! That's it! We must love each other."
"But how?"
"Well, we already care for one another. Would you save me if I was being hurt?"
"How would I save you?"
"I don't know. Say I was about to be killed by a large stone aimed for the skull. What would you do then?"
"I would be frozen with fear."
"Fear of what?"
"Fear for your safety."
"So you would let me be killed?"
"I would quickly calculate the data collected during the occurrence and evaluate a strategy that would possibly have an 87% chance or above of your rescue."
"Good. What might the plan be?"
"Perhaps I could deflect the stone, depending on its width and weight, off a larger object, obviously thick enough not to be torn through if the stone had sharp edges."
"What now?"
"Ask me one."
"What would you do if I were being drowned by the Siblings?"
"I would knock them all out with a tree branch and dive in to save you."
"Negative. You cannot swim. The Siblings would overpower you. Notice Siblings was plural? I had imagined three in my mind. Three would absolutely overpower one. You do not even fight. Where would you obtain the branch if we were indoors?"
"You cheated! You never said three, or that it would happen indoors! Be fair."
"Fine, but your strategy would only cause both of us to be killed."
"At least we both tried."
"And what has this proved?"
"That we would both risk dying for each other."
"My plan showed no risk of death for myself. Although if it failed, you would be destroyed, and I would live."
"I'm sad now."
"Do not be, Ronald. I would be so lonely that if death knocked at my door and you were not there any longer, I would gladly invite it in."
"Then that proves it."
"Proves what, hmm?"
"That we both love each other."
"I assume so."
"Do you promise to keep this a secret, Trinity?"
"I give my word to never speak of this to any living soul."
"Are you certain?"
"I knew you would be..."
"I think I feel it now. I think I understand."
"Understand what?"
"I think I understand love, Ronald."

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1 comment:

  1. Someone can love someone they have not met. Loving your fellow person, fellow creature of any kind is not something that's false. You can love those you have not met.
    You can love someone who does not love back. It may hurt, even if you understand, but you can still love them for they mean something to you. Perhaps they mean something different to you than you do to them, but they are still important.
    You can love them even if they are not aware. Sometimes people do not realize it, sometimes they deny it, or sometimes they just do not know how to approach it for personal reasons. You can love them even so.
    You can love someone who is not close to you. Like family, distant relatives or cousins, you can love them despite not seeing them often. Even if you are not close when you do seem them as well.
    People can do horrible things to appear undeserving of love. But what good are we as a whole if we judge who deserves love and who does not? People, creatures, etc. deserve care, that cannot be denied no matter how beastly they may be or how cruel they have been. Perhaps not your love, not anymore, but they deserve it from someone.

    Yes. Someone can love one that needs it but does not accept it. It's a matter of perspective and experience as to why someone may not accept it. Things that should be taken into consideration. You can still love them, despite their rejection of it or hesitation towards it.
    Sympathy comes in the form of pitying someone, or trying to sync with someone you care about and understand them. Compassion is what is lacked within the world, love itself as well. Whether it is sympathy or compassion you must choose for yourself, how much you care for the person. Do you respect them? Lack of respect leans towards pitying in obvious cases, but there are so many variables it is mostly based on your own feelings and perspective.
    Risking your own life is the most you could give to a person. To show them how you valued them, but there are always other options. Other ways.

    You have very strong emotions, Trinity. I hope soon you can experience them all freely, without shackles upon your wrists and ankles.